Draft : I won't please her.

she slips into the bedroom and slams her balled fist off the table, glaring at me. I say, "what" and she responds " doesn't matter" and staggers to the bed shoulders limp, throws her self on the bed.
I get up, disintersted in her angst since apparently she won't verbalize it anyway, move slowly, tiredly toward the bathroom, and she screams " you don't even care". I continue on my way, to relieve myself of not only her again, but of the urine i'd been holding the entire time, she was slamming shit around on the bathroom counter.
I hear he footsteps , and then the door creek open, as i stand penis in hand with no intention to respond, untill it hits me, thats what she wants is for me not to respond, because she legitamatley thinks that i do not "care". I finish, and start the shower, look her in the eyes as i undress and ask her to join me. She leaves the room, and returns once i have made it in.
I mumble, you are relentless, and she pretends not to hear, tho it was said with that intention anyway, we let it pass. I press her body against mine, and i smell every bit of her in the steam surrounding us, tired smells, old smells, new smells, my smell, her smell, our smell, i inform her i could never live without this. Of course she laughs, really really laughs and says, "of course you could".
I tell her i am getting the towels and she, pays no mind to me leaving the room, after 6 months of not parting, i pack my things and i go, it is only a hotel room, it is only a temporary place, with me and her, i tell myself, it doesn't matter, i dont care, i just do not care, that is what i will tell myself.




(EDIT200words)

[She slips into the bedroom, slams her balled fist off the table, glares at me. I say, "what",she responds
"doesn't matter".

I get up, disinterested in her angst, she won't verbalize it, move tiredly toward the bathroom,then she screams
" you don't even care".

I go to relieve myself, of her and of the urine i'd been holding the entire time she was slamming shit off the bathroom counter. The door creeks open, as i stand penis in hand with no intention to respond, untill it hits me, that's what she wants,no fucking response.I finish, start the shower, look her in the eyes, undress and ask her to join me.

I mumble, you are relentless, she pretends not to hear. I press her body against mine, i smell every bit of her in the steam surrounding us, tired smells, my smell, our smell, i inform her i could never live without this.Of course she laughs, really really laughs and says,
"of course you could".

I tell her i'm getting the towels,it's a temporary place with me and her. I tell myself, it doesn't matter, i dont care,that is what i will tell myself.]
i am starving, do not call me hungry

Broken Waves

broken hands and teeth
WAITING for a day to be
useful, for real things to work
for real food to chew, Broken

waves and sunsets ponder
at me no longer i at them
i feel the hunger ache away
unwanting of more to hold
taken by what i have passed
by, the time so everlasting

broken lands across the sea
not waiting for anyone, having
what its had, with no time to
do or to be undone, how lucky
sea birds play and laugh at my

broken waves.

i did not believe

and now i know, you can have it, and find it and spend it
and see it and feel it and hate it, you can push it and pull
it and widdle it away to nothing, and still its there

it does not lose its resonance,
it finds its own appeal

it shifts between us
like the gears upon the wheel

it carries well and ill

it flourishes even if
you kill it, i ask it
to die but it says
it never will.

oh how i know you
better then myself,
love, you never fail
to rescue me, you
always keep me
you always,
keep me.


Please do not think about me.

Wanting nothing most of the time,
and then finding an inkling of what
is longed for in so many different
places, that one must except the
process, of refining the self to even
comprehend need let alone want,
desire torn from its simplistic root
of despair , in outrage i breathe
in all that is capable in me, to
love, and to just simply love.

I feel as tho

I can not embrace this moment
I can not break my love into more then one piece

It is whole, i am whole fighting in shallow water
shedding light more often then touching it
then accepting it for what it is

i have been here before and know it does not work,
i can not let all of this consume me, i can not let all of this
pass through me, i am valid, i am reason

i can not grasp with hands
i do not feel i have.


Don't Let Me

say i love you again, just let me feel it

don't let me, listen for the door, let me
take these walls away, let me take you
away in these walls, give me time to step
don't let me hunger for a sense of asylum
know that in this skin, i have refuge
palms fitting, drifting always on the way
out. Don't let me wonder, let me know
that there is nothing to fight for but me
anymore, anymore, anymore
give me this solid silence.

eyes speak all i need to know in you.