I am nothing

I am everything

I am not i, i am not you

we can not be us, for there

is no line that separates one

from the other inside of this

i am not nothing

i am not everything

or anything or

something more

or less then i ever

h a v e b e e n

i am,

i am,

oh please

listen, i

A M

For all that i have given

i know it has not been nearly enough to gain clarity in this

in all of this, given and taken,

i feel at ease only while a distant piece of adhered.

attempting to find something capable within me

of love and of light in the same,

difficulty breeds difficulty, trying to find a deeper center

a truth within this absolute falsehood of manifestation

breathing because i must, has become tiresome

waking because of things i must do, instead of being rested

lost, in circles of why nothing i attempt to do works, or

does not work, i am happy, i am happy, i am true

i repeat and attempt to find the understanding of this

current moment

Tired, not so torn, and over most of anything that is not simply love in "this"

Halfway between don't touch me and please don't leave before i wake up,

Will you watch me throw up, i know its not romantic, but you helped me tip

the cup up, i didn't mean to keep my iloveyou's far and stray , i didn't mean to

tell you sorry just to watch you walk away. I feel my guilt inside this, and i am

halfway down, by the time you start to get up, to get it, to work with what we

have before we start to try to make it, to manifest this, to bring about and keep

this.

A million reasons why we can't work, before we considered it as anything but

quarters, of a dollar that we are too reluctant and too poor to spend. Its cold to

find me starving you inside of this, warm place i have found in myself, that you

deny exists. I am whole, and sometimes not so wholesome, you are distant and

its difficult not to want just a pinch of something in this bland thing we have begun

to create inside this fragrant garden, we can see if we quit believing we are making

mistakes and start making real decisions .

The only thing i need to need.

In a vacant corner of the perfect landscape.

I am sorry my love

i have found no other

not even myself these days

Its funny how love works

and how much you learn

not to hurt when your hurting

just not to hurt someone else...

So things have been said, and had,

and spent so many times, i lost my

patience towards trying.