My heart beat harder,
breath less then shallow
i wonder how it would feel
to lack a sense of power
to be bound,
not seamless
hunched over
bereavements
in each pain-
full swallow
excuse me,
just having
social issues
engage awareness : foster love
Discard
ill forsaken shadows
open the eyes, hear
my tender silent cries
i see the radiance
i feel its warmth
pass through me
i can not contain it
i discard, i discard
i see as if lower then
i bend down and pledge
that i may never sit
or pray again, if you
accept me here and now
failed ode to the discard,
of ego, ever present it
whispers and begs to stay
i do not want you, i do
not want you, the
door swings open,
the keys are left in
the lock, accept it
accept it, you are
not all that lost
just off the clock
open the eyes, hear
my tender silent cries
i see the radiance
i feel its warmth
pass through me
i can not contain it
i discard, i discard
i see as if lower then
i bend down and pledge
that i may never sit
or pray again, if you
accept me here and now
failed ode to the discard,
of ego, ever present it
whispers and begs to stay
i do not want you, i do
not want you, the
door swings open,
the keys are left in
the lock, accept it
accept it, you are
not all that lost
just off the clock
It is not in living
It is not in living that we find the truth
but in loving that we live, through hard ships
and confessions of confusion, to find the
pinnacle understanding before elation
before elation, i come on to strong
step back to willingly, use foolish
words that hold their weight but lack
the common understanding, i am present
am i present?! if time comes to pass
and space can not last, in rooms with
others that understand, i am not a
teacher, i am not a sage
i am merely aiding in the stillness
behind and beyond the rage.
but in loving that we live, through hard ships
and confessions of confusion, to find the
pinnacle understanding before elation
before elation, i come on to strong
step back to willingly, use foolish
words that hold their weight but lack
the common understanding, i am present
am i present?! if time comes to pass
and space can not last, in rooms with
others that understand, i am not a
teacher, i am not a sage
i am merely aiding in the stillness
behind and beyond the rage.
Not so insecure
i feel so often and so fully that i can not change my mind about things, just open it more, wait at the door, go knocking and talking and walking till i find a place that is to dreary to feel, that is so dead it yields from the earth only the scent of decaying land, the silence there, oh the silence there, a different kind of squeal, it would drive and sane person back into society , but me i just want to stay, feet bare.
A daughters love for an unloving mother
you sad mean lady, that let me rest in your womb
i know i never meant any harm, but i had to get out
there was just no more room, you sad sick lady
make me seem less then i have been, or have ever
tried to be, discouraged to be, not encouraged to be
you seem wanting of your own creation to fail
sad this life is as it is and i know of greater peace
maybe in the start you should have worked
on removing my free will, stomped just
one more time on my heart.
i know i never meant any harm, but i had to get out
there was just no more room, you sad sick lady
make me seem less then i have been, or have ever
tried to be, discouraged to be, not encouraged to be
you seem wanting of your own creation to fail
sad this life is as it is and i know of greater peace
maybe in the start you should have worked
on removing my free will, stomped just
one more time on my heart.
Hiatus
finding myself displeased with my "work"
saving more drafts and emails to myself
then i would like. I need full confidence
in the words that i use, i will be attempting
to procure that in more domestic affairs,
meditation in action... in action, in action
becoming stagnant in mind, more so then i
would like, repetitive thoughts and feeling
which i do not disfavor, although i look
forward to things becoming more fluid, after
so long awaited "respite"...balancing task
and duty with "pleasure".
saving more drafts and emails to myself
then i would like. I need full confidence
in the words that i use, i will be attempting
to procure that in more domestic affairs,
meditation in action... in action, in action
becoming stagnant in mind, more so then i
would like, repetitive thoughts and feeling
which i do not disfavor, although i look
forward to things becoming more fluid, after
so long awaited "respite"...balancing task
and duty with "pleasure".
Rising
although the concept has been termed & used
doesn't mean i have felt it like i now do,
and to this magnitude
i am frost bitten, on the highest peak
taking my socks off to stay warm, wood
burning till embers
let me feed you then, and fast, let me
stay up and watch you feast until the
tiredness begins to pass
doesn't mean i have felt it like i now do,
and to this magnitude
i am frost bitten, on the highest peak
taking my socks off to stay warm, wood
burning till embers
let me feed you then, and fast, let me
stay up and watch you feast until the
tiredness begins to pass
Following a goat
i have always seen
of the same heaven
in its earthen hooves
it rests upon the earth
pocketing blooms,
swallowing seeds
wild and stirring
wind on the water
of the same heaven
in its earthen hooves
it rests upon the earth
pocketing blooms,
swallowing seeds
wild and stirring
wind on the water
Walking in distal
Tired heavy footsteps
breath in breath out
footpaths and doorways
Tired heavy footsteps
waking and dreaming
breath in breath out
breath in breath out
breath in breath out
breath in breath out
footpaths and doorways
Tired heavy footsteps
waking and dreaming
breath in breath out
breath in breath out
breath in breath out
Xo
Its not current and its not past
its the whole dam picture that makes this last
lasting in greatness and in failure
in attempts and in the path that's clearer
Not easy
I wish it were true
that i could step over you
right back into my life
It is not that easy
to pledge i shouldn't pay
for the love that i have had
and the way you made me
put it all away
It is wrongful in this way
that i should not stay
put all the pieces away
that i could step over you
right back into my life
It is not that easy
to pledge i shouldn't pay
for the love that i have had
and the way you made me
put it all away
It is wrongful in this way
that i should not stay
put all the pieces away
Swearing it off
wishing things away that are unresolved
bandaging a filthy wound, the sickness
grows in spite, not in understanding
allowing the grasp to breathe,
knowing one is capable of resolve
without obsessing over toil, mends
bandaging a filthy wound, the sickness
grows in spite, not in understanding
allowing the grasp to breathe,
knowing one is capable of resolve
without obsessing over toil, mends
Umbilicus
The connections severed
never to be regained
there is something infinite
flowing through these veins
only in these veins, connection
severed, only in these veins
never to be regained
never to be regained
there is something infinite
flowing through these veins
only in these veins, connection
severed, only in these veins
never to be regained
In invisible days from the past
I know i said i wanted to grow up,
but along the way i was taught i would never get to the top,
so in my middle ground, my lukewarm valley,
i learn the meaning of hello, and goodbye gracefully.
i am just a homesick child
knowing of my home deep within
fading, slowly
but along the way i was taught i would never get to the top,
so in my middle ground, my lukewarm valley,
i learn the meaning of hello, and goodbye gracefully.
i am just a homesick child
knowing of my home deep within
fading, slowly
Supplements $ vitamins
I will be blind soon just watch me
because i wont be able to, i wont
be much ah talker either, i plan on
silence soon, I hope i can listen
but chances are i'll let that wave,
ain't much a taster or a feeler, so
i suppose that'll fade far away.
because i wont be able to, i wont
be much ah talker either, i plan on
silence soon, I hope i can listen
but chances are i'll let that wave,
ain't much a taster or a feeler, so
i suppose that'll fade far away.
Roll over me
Storm roll over my body
my natural, scared and
never naked body
make my cloths fit
like the shadows
that follow this light
round the corners, of
this room
only eyes as
windows
storm light the sky
let me remember the
cracks, and the roars
that put me in bed
as a child
my natural, scared and
never naked body
make my cloths fit
like the shadows
that follow this light
round the corners, of
this room
only eyes as
windows
storm light the sky
let me remember the
cracks, and the roars
that put me in bed
as a child
karva
warm fire humble
let me appreciate
Diya
clay on my hands
in dreams
Sat Nam
in waking waiting
to play in the mud
let me appreciate
Diya
clay on my hands
in dreams
Sat Nam
in waking waiting
to play in the mud
carnivore
i feel my self hunger, while full
and constricted, under the influence
invisible things, unreal things
i let strike, i let devour
is rule of this reining influence
or intention, prudence or abstaining
virtue over idea of virtue
within order, not without
complications, of chaos
stream, peace and love
in mind, out of mind
in water in wells,
in mountain sides
trees rooted procure
seed in, seed in
the soil of
this valley
i call mine
and constricted, under the influence
invisible things, unreal things
i let strike, i let devour
is rule of this reining influence
or intention, prudence or abstaining
virtue over idea of virtue
within order, not without
complications, of chaos
stream, peace and love
in mind, out of mind
in water in wells,
in mountain sides
trees rooted procure
seed in, seed in
the soil of
this valley
i call mine
Literally starving
i experience a social order
i can not unplug from the
perception of what is normal
to fulfill what i know is
"right" in a wrong
attempting to perceive
a balance within something
eternally wavering
wavering, i know i must
let the palace fall upon me
before knocking on the door
i can not unplug from the
perception of what is normal
to fulfill what i know is
"right" in a wrong
attempting to perceive
a balance within something
eternally wavering
wavering, i know i must
let the palace fall upon me
before knocking on the door
Empty
glasses on the counter, on the shelves
in the sink, and in my heart up side down
drowning, please do not swallow me
i never want to be full again, let
me be empty, empty, with nothing
to give again, and again
i have nothing in these hands to give,
i have worked for nothing, all i have
is yours to take, i made none of this
breaths in and out, slowly with whom
it may concern, with whom is in the
room, with whom will take my charge
elsewhere, anywhere, away
starving for stark light, starving
for darkness in corners, that i do
not know yet in this mind, i want
to see it, i want to know, how far
i can reach inside this, where is
my heart, can i find it... can
i find it, and please tell me
its silent, can not ask for
answers to questions anymore
today, have i lost my patience,
in being still, instead of
running.
in the sink, and in my heart up side down
drowning, please do not swallow me
i never want to be full again, let
me be empty, empty, with nothing
to give again, and again
i have nothing in these hands to give,
i have worked for nothing, all i have
is yours to take, i made none of this
breaths in and out, slowly with whom
it may concern, with whom is in the
room, with whom will take my charge
elsewhere, anywhere, away
starving for stark light, starving
for darkness in corners, that i do
not know yet in this mind, i want
to see it, i want to know, how far
i can reach inside this, where is
my heart, can i find it... can
i find it, and please tell me
its silent, can not ask for
answers to questions anymore
today, have i lost my patience,
in being still, instead of
running.
He
The one that embraces all ten thousand things
The one that lets go of the ten thousand things
the one that can ebb not between fear and love
of the ten thousand things, but dismiss the
illusion completely and know there is balance
between each thing, because of each thing
for each things, and of each thing
The one that lets go of the ten thousand things
the one that can ebb not between fear and love
of the ten thousand things, but dismiss the
illusion completely and know there is balance
between each thing, because of each thing
for each things, and of each thing
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