knowing that i have a place
in this life ; that one may call my own
i have not ever necessarily followed
or guided anyone anywhere ; and it is
not really time to start i suppose,
but in days i would define;
as less adequate then others
i have only myself to blame
i am reminded of consequences,
of actions; of things that so quickly passed
i did not know there would be a time to
think of them again ; but now
with only bitter, time on my hands
i wash away again what has been only
for the return to be less patient in the
squandering of.
i have not known easier days,
for i know where i am true and
where i am not ; but in the same
moment; i have never once struggled
this much ; though i have survived
far worse days then these.
survival is always in hindsight
now ah' daze, with all the convenience
of far beyond necessity, it is hard to know
of struggle, when born of a breed, raised
apathetic, and more so bothersome then
needed or of any purpose, but ones own.
